Hey guys!
I have moved my blog contents to https://rosungu.wordpress.com/. Do go over and drop a subscribe to Ros Ungu - YouTube.
Can't wait to see you guys on the other page soon!
Roti Jala (Lace Crepes) - Easy and Tasty
Hi everyone!
Roti Jala or Net Pancakes (some calls it - Lace Crepes). So roti jala or net pancake or lace crepes literally means that due to the look of the pancake. This roti jala is a famous Singapore/Malaysian snack and is often eaten for breakfast or lunch. It's commonly served with chicken curry.
Our family favorite way of eating this roti jala is with chicken curry (recipe posted previously). Made some chicken curry last night to go along with our roti jala today. Woke up early to make some today, for my husband who's coming home from night shift.
The batter is made out of simple ingredients. I hope you'd give this a try. It's simple, really!
Recipe : Roti Jala (Lace Crepes/Net Pancake)
Ingredient :
- 3 cups plain flour
- 200 ml coconut milk (or fresh milk)
- 400 ml water
- 1/2 cup vegetable oil
- 2 tsp salt
- 2 eggs
- 1 tsp colouring *yellow*
Note : (The Batter) Add all the ingredients into a bowl and whisk (or blend) until well combined. Pour the batter in a pancake bottle.
Heat up the flat pan. Swirl around the pan, creating a net look (see video). Cook until the pancake turns pale in color. Remove it onto a plate.
Fold both opposite side to the center, creating a triangle.
Repeat the same until the batter is finished. Serve hot with chicken curry.
Enjoy!
Chicken Curry (Special Recipe)
There are many variations of "chicken curry" in Singapore. Chinese, Malay, Nyonya n Indian style. Curry chicken with potatoes is the most common chicken curry in Singapore. Everywhere you go where curries are served, you will find this type of chicken curry.
I often make chicken curry for my family n I love serving it with roti jala (lace crepes). Got this special recipe from mama but I improvised it a little. It's more like a family tradition recipe. But I'm more than happy to share it with you 😋
Just made some chicken curry tonight. Prepared it early so I can make some roti jala tomorrow morning for my husband's breakfast when he comes home from his night shift. Somehow, I made it top priority to cook for my kids n husband homecooked meals even if I'm sick or busy with my daily stuffs. The feeling of watching my kids n husband enjoying the meals I cooked for them, is indescribable. Family meals are very important to our family, we bond over food. N breakfast is nicely planned for tomorrow, n I can't wait for morning! So, it's chicken curry with roti jala.
Do take note of the recipe I'm going to share later, it's rich in taste, this rich aromatic curry is all that you want to satisfy your soul with good combination of roti jala!
Recipe : Curry Chicken
Ingredients :
- 2 lemongrass - bruised
- 1 cinnamon stick, 2 star anise, 4 cloves & 4 cardamom pods
- Whole chicken - cut 8 pieces (half fried)
- 200 ml water
- 2 tsp pink salt (you can go ahead with normal salt, it's fine)
- 2 carrots - cut into 1 inch chunks
- 3 potatoes - cut into large, even-shaped chunks
- Curry leaves / Lime leaves
- 5 tbsp curry powder (meat)
- 400 ml coconut milk (or you can use fresh milk)
- 1 cup evaporated milk
- 100 gm toasted coconut paste (kelapa kerisik)
Paste :
- 5 lime leaves
- 12 cloves garlics
- 3 bulb onions
- 1.5 inch ginger
- 6 red chillies
- 20 dried chillies
Note : In a food processor, blend PASTE ingredients to a fine paste.
In a large pot, heat up the oil over medium heat n fry the cinnamon, star anise, cloves, cardamom pods n lemongrass till fragrant for about 1 min.
Add in the paste n fry till the mixture is a little dry.
Add in the curry powder, still for a little bit before adding in the toasted coconut paste. Stir often n make sure the paste does not burn.
Add in water n stir for awhile. Season it with salt before adding the coconut milk. Let it simmer for awhile n add the carrots, potatoes n chicken. Cover n let it boil at a lower heat for about 15 mins.
Once your chicken, carrots n potatoes are cooked add the curry n lime leaves.
Serve it hot, top your roti jala with this awesome chicken curry.
The secret ingredients to this recipe is the toasted coconut paste n the lime leaves grinded together with other paste ingredients.
This is my husband's favorite!
Bubur Lambuk (my asal hentam recipe )
'Bubur Lambuk' is creamy porridge rich in spices and cooked in coconut milk. It tastes richer than the normal chicken porridge due to the coconut milk and selection of spices added to it. It's a favorite of many Singaporean during the month of Ramadhan and this is my favorite. My helper used to prepare this every time I felt unwell. Spoilt with all her yummilicious cooking!
Decided to make some today, since my husband and kids are unwell today. This is my first time trying to cook this bubur, tried and tested, alhamdthe kids and husband said, "sedap".
Do watch the video below :
Recipe : Bubur Lambuk
Ingredients :
- 1 cinnamon stick, 3 star anise, 3 cloves, 3 cardamom pods
- 2 litres water
- 2 cubesm chicken stock
- 1 cup, mixed vegetables - washed and put aside
- 100 gm minced beef - washed and put aside
- 1 tsp white pepper (optional)
- Fried shallots - for garnishing
- 1.5 cup of rice - washed and drained
- 200 ml coconut milk
Paste :
- 3 cloves, shallots
- 6 cloves, garlic
- 1 inch ginger
In a large stockpot, heat up 2 tbsp oil over medium heat and fry cinnamon, star anise, cloves and cardamom pods for 1-2 mins.
Add in the paste, chicken cube and fry for 5 mins and mixture is a little dry.
Add in the minced beef and stir occasionally until even.
Add the water, coconut milk and mixed vegetables. And stir until the broth and rice are evenly mixed.
Cover the pot and let it boil, add pepper, lower the heat and simmer for 30-45 mins. (I will transfer to pot to my multi cooker until the bubur is cooked).
Serve it hot. Garnish it with fried shallots or coriander (optional).
Go ahead and try it. Sedap!
The Weight of Silence - My Son with Selective Mutism
Today I reserved my time to edit n proof page my manuscript for 'The Weight of Silence', the book I wrote for my eldest son, Raziq. I decided to write this book because I realized our community unaware what is 'Selective Mutism'. Unfortunately, the community are lacked of empathy n compassion to people with selective mutism. They have less understanding of selective mutism. The community are confuse, selective mutism with autism. Both may appear to be similar but it's important to know that they are the same disorder. We can easily find books on Autism but it's never easy to find books on Selective Mutism.
I started writing this book, when my son got bullied by his peers in school. Some even labelled him. They made fun of him because he acted "weird". They called him names n looked at him, judging him. This impacted badly on him, n it hurts me as a mother, I felt that I failed to protect him. With this book, I'm trying to raise awareness of the struggles we have had while facing this condition. I have 1 son with selective mutism n another with autism. We're trying to convey our struggles with it, in hope to help n inspire other people who're struggling with the same thing.
Throughout the years, we have faced a lot of prejudice n stigma about this condition as it's quite rare n not many people understand it, especially with regards to teenagers n adults. Most of the treatments out there are aimed at younger children, but as they get older they need a different approach in treatments, they think differently as they mature. Raziq have a long history of not being able to talk in public, along with a long history of anxiety surrounding it. Selective Mutism is not an easy condition to manage, n they experience an inordinate amount of anxiety when there is an expectation to speak.
I hope that my points of view, from our first-hand experiences, will give the community more insight into what's it's like to be him, n the importance of greater awareness, understanding, n recognition of teenagers n adults with selective mutism.
I also hope to reach out n help the selective mutism community find their strength n feel less alone. I hope by sharing my experience, I can help others like Raziq who is struggling in similar situations.
To my son, Raziq. We're walking this journey with you, together. You're not alone n we love you 😍
Chemo Port Removal
It's official! And I'm off with this little fella. I'm having mixed feelings about this whole thing but I'm putting my trust in Allah SWT. 4 years ago, I had a port implanted under the skin of my chest, as an entryway for chemotherapy, medications, and nourishments. Finally, I had it removed - a milestone for any one with cancer, but especially for one who beat the odds. As for my case, I had it removed because I decided to stop all cancer treatments. I'm aware that I'm putting my life at risk but the emotional rides all these years are tearing me apart. My cancer journey was optimistic but it was painful at the same time. The day when my oncologist, Prof Fong told me that the chemo and radiation wasn't responding, and radiotherapy was not an option, it really hit me real hard on the face. But I don't need to take too long to realized that even though this is the end of my treatment journey for my cancer, I still have Allah. He has planned everything for me. He knows what's best for me. I put all trust in HIM. And Allah is the only one who can cure me. In Sha Allah, aamiin.
Spinach / Fishball Soup
Hey kids,
Today's recipe mommy going to share is "sayur bayam n fishball". It's a simple dish, easy prep n I'm sure you guys can do this! You can have it with fried tahu, fried tempe or even fried chicken to pair it with the sayur bayam. Any way you guys prefer. But today we will have it with fried tahu n tempe.
Well, Papa couldn't get round spinach at the supermarket today, so we make do with 'sharp spinach' he bought this morning. In any case, if you need papa to run to the supermarket to get veggies, please google take a photo n send it to him. He always got all the veggies mixed up 😆 but I'm sure he will get them correct soon. So don't worry too much about that!
You can find the video below :
Recipe : Spinach / Fishball Soup (Sup Bayam Fishball)
Ingredients :
- 1 litre water
- 5 cloves garlic - sliced
- 3 cloves shallots - sliced
- Dried anchovies
- 1 cube, anchovies stock
- 1 carrot - cut into 1 inch chunks
- 1 packet fishballs (or fishballs with chicken fillings)
- 1 packet round/sharp spinach
Instructions :
In a medium pot, heat up the oil over medium heat n fry garlic, shallots n dried anchovies till fragrant.
Add in water, anchovies stock, carrots n fishballs n let it boil then lower the heat n simmer for about 5 mins.
Once the carrots n fishballs are cooked, add in the spinach. Boil it for another 5 mins. And, you're done cooking!
Serve it hot with brown rice or even glass noodles. You can garnish it with coriander n fried shallots too if you like.
Note : Do not overcooked the carrots, papa loves his carrots crunchy. Serve it with glass noodle, he only eat rice once a month. Oh yes, don't forget belacan! Yumzzzz....
See, kids! Simple steps n preparations. Anyone can cook this. Really, this is the simplest dish ever n I have confidence in you. Just follow the steps 😍
Happy cooking kids. Mommy love you 😘
Quick n Easy Bee Hoon
Hey kids,
Today I will share with you a simple recipe meal. When you don't know what to cook, Bee Hoon is a perfect meal for the day! My Bee Hoon's ingredients are usually very minimal (whatever ingredients I can find in the fridge). Today is a laid back kind of day, and so when I opened up the fridge there's beansprout (got extra from 'Mee Soto' from the other day's dinner), sliced beef and bee hoon. And all I need was chye sim! So I got your sleepy papa who just came back from night shift to get some chye sim 😝
It's easy and simple. You can find the recipe and video below :
Recipe : Bee Hoon
Ingredients :
- Bee hoon - blanched with hot water, drain & set aside
- 200 g bean sprout - trimmed & washed
- Chye sim
- 200 g beef - sliced
- 1 medium tofu - cut into cubes
- 100 ml water
Paste :
- 2 medium onions
- Tomato paste
- Dried chilli
- 5 cloves garlic
- Dried shrimp
- 1 cube, chicken stock
Note : In a food processor, blend past ingredients to a fine paste.
In a large pan, heat up the oil over medium heat and add the paste, chicken cube and fry until the mixture is a little dry.
Add sliced beef and water. Cover and let it cook through for about 15 mins.
When the mixture is a little dry and beef is cooked, add in fried tofu. Lower the heat and simmer for about 5 mins.
Finally add in the chye sim and bean sprout. Stir for a little bit. You can also garnish it with coriander and fried shallots.
And, that's it! You're done cooking and ready to serve. For today, I air-fried some homemade honey chicken wing for the children.
Happy trying!😘
Fiery Flavorful Shell Out Recipe - Must Try
Hello kids!!
I'm gonna share another delicious, mouthwatering, fiery flavorful and most recognizable dish in Singapore. It's SHELL OUT, peep!! And, those who loves seafood and shell out should try out this recipe. It's a real hit! My family enjoy this so much!
The total budget for a family of 4 is SGD$72.00, which means SGD$18.00/pax and you can have at least 3 servings. It's definitely good value for money. But of course, "leceh" to prepare the ingredients and all. As usual, I will order my fresh seafood and fresh shellfish from Guang's Fresh Mart. They have a good deal of fresh seafood and good service too (do check them out on Facebook).
We all love convenience food, who doesn't right? But home cooked food invokes precious memories and home cook is always the best! I enjoy prepare home-cooked meals for my family and I'm always eager to get my hands on good recipes. So, go on and try out this recipe, you gonna love it!
Must try shell out recipe!
Do watch the video below :
Recipe : Shell Out
Ingredients A :
- Tiger Prawns
- Squids
- Flower clams
- Cockles
- Mussels
- Crab (optional)
- Gong Gong (optional)
Note : All seafood boiled separately with bruised lemongrass. Do not overcooked the seafood, drained and put aside.
Ingredients B :
- Sweetcorn - cut into halves
- Broccoli - cut into florets
- Carrots - cut into 2 inch chunks
- Potatoes (optional)
Note : All veggie to boil separately, drained and put aside.
Paste :
- 20 dried chillies
- 2 onions
- 15 cloves shallots
- 1 inch ginger
- 2 tbsp dried shrimp - soak with hot water
Note : In a food processor, blend PASTE ingredients to a fine paste.
Ingredients C :
- 6 cloves, garlic - minced
- 6 cloves onion - minced
- 1 inch ginger - minced
- 5 stalks of curry leaves
- 10 chilli padi - halves lengthwise
- 2 sticks lemongrass - bruised
- 3 tbsp butter
Ingredient D :
- 3 tbsp fish curry powder
- 3 tbsp oyster sauce
- 3 tbsp fish sauce
- 1 tbsp black pepper
- 1 cube chicken stock
- 250 ml water
Instructions :
In a large pan, heat up the butter over medium heat and fry INGREDIENTS C till fragrant.
Add in the PASTE and fry till the paste turns color.
Add in water and INGREDIENT D. Cover and let it boil then lower the heat and simmer for about 15 mins.
Finally when the mixture is a little dry, add in INGREDIENTS A & B. Stir occasionally until sauce is thoroughly cooked through.
Serve it while it's hot with butter rice. Yummy!!
Mee Soto - My Family's Favorite!
 |
Do watch the video below :
Recipe : Mee Soto
Ingredients :
- 1 lemongrass - bruised
- 1 tsp white pepper
- 1 cinnamon stick, 3 star anise, 5 cloves, 4 cardamom pods
- Whole chicken or chicken breast (shredded)
- 2 litres, water
- 1 cube, chicken stock
- Egg noodle / rice vermicelli - blanched in hot water, drained & set aside
- Beansprout - trimmed & washed
- Coriander leaves - finely chopped, for garnishing
- Fried shallots - for garnishing
- Begedil - optional
Paste :
- 2 lemongrass
- 5 cloves shallots
- 3 cloves garlic
- 1 inch ginger
- 1 inch turmeric
- 1 inch galangal
- 1 tbsp fennel seeds
- 1 tbsp cumin seeds
Note : In a food processor, blend PASTE ingredients to a fine paste.
In a large stockpot, heat up the oil over medium heat and fry cloves, cinnamon, star anise, cardamom pods and lemongrass till fragrant for about 1-2 mins.
Add in the paste, chicken cube and fry till the paste turns color and mixture is a little dry. Stir often to make sure paste does not burn.
Add in water and chicken. Season with pepper. Cover and let it boil then lower the heat and simmer for 45 mins.
Once your chicken is cooked, remove the chicken from the pot and once they are cool, shred the chicken and set aside.
To serve, place some noodle in a bowl, topped with shredded chicken, begedil (potato cake), beansprouts, and pour hot soup over. Garnish with coriander and fried shallots.
Add chilli on the side for some spice.
Aglio Oglio Beef Satay!
Every time we had extra spaghetti, rather than it goes to a waste I will whipped up my family's favourite meal, Aglio Oglio Beef Satay. Satay is a Southeast Asian dish of seasoned, skewered and grilled meal, usually served with peanut sauce (satay sauce). It's quick, easy, simple and delicious! Enjoy watching and try the recipe below.
Recipe :
* 1 bulb garlic - minced
* 10 dried chillies - halves lengthwise
* 2 small heads of broccoli (or baby spinach) - cut into florets
* 100 gm shiitake mushrooms - sliced
* 50 ml of lime juice
* 1 packet of satay (beef or chicken depending on your preference) - pan fry until cooked
Recipe Instructions :
Heat the olive oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add in the garlic for 2 minutes. Stir occasionally, until golden brown. Add the water to the skillet, chicken stock, dried chillies and lime juice, stirring for another 2-3 minutes. Add the mushrooms, broccoli and stir for a little bit before adding the spaghetti and finally the satay. Stir for a little bit and ready to serve!
Early Detection Saves Lifes - It Might Save Your Life BUT It Might NOT
Today's thoughts...
Call us strong. Call us brave. But we're not survivors. I had no family history of Endometrial Cancer. I was just 38 when I was diagnosed. The cancer was only stage II at the time of diagnosis. I had full hysterectomy less than a month after I was diagnosed, and I followed that with aggressive oral chemotherapy drugs. We were told "technically cancer-free!" We celebrated, cried and we thought that was it! And we could put cancer behind us! This is what I and countless other women in stage II, III or even IV still don't understand. I know so many women who has been told the cancer was gone, only to be blindsided later with the grim reality that it has spread. Then came the death blow. It didn't matter that I discovered the cancer quickly or that I did everything I could to treat it. All too often when people think about cancer, they think about it as a problem, it's solved, and you lead a long and normal life. "Early Detection Saves Lives." Well, yeah..it might save your life. But it might not.
When All Treatment No Longer An Option, I pray God Provide a Miracle...
I took a long hiatus from blogging and I'm back at it again!
So much things happened over the years but hey, it's 2021 a brand new beginning. My only hope that this year will be a miracle year for me. Year to heal!
There have been some hard days, but there's been so many blessings through it too! So I'm trying my best to remember that. God is great!!
I took a long hiatus for an indeterminate time but I never thought that I would take this long. I have screamed so loud, some have heard me. But I'm tired of screaming. I'm tired to keep telling myself, "Things will be okay" or "I'm gonna be well again" etc...etc....etc. I have tried everything my oncologist planned up for me, I did them all...everything! I put in so much high hopes to get better but I was so wrong.
Over the years I went through countless chemotherapies, radiation therapies and even immunotherapies, after which my cancer went into remission. But then, the cancer returned in Aug' 2020, and radiotherapy was not an option.
The night I was told my cancer had returned, we shared the news with my husband's siblings. The ones who keep us going and supporting us. We were broken. Me and Puw couldn't sleep that night, we stayed up and talked all night. Since I was first diagnosed, he was very optimistic and I have never seen him sad, but that night we cried in silent.
By Nov'2020, it's already all over my body and Dec'2020, I chose not to receive anymore treatment. I'm never doing this again. So, I decided enough was enough. I have been through too much to deal with any more. Now I hope God provide a miracle or live out my life doing the things I love.
I realized that I didn't have much time and I need to fulfill my dreams. Too many dreams to fulfill with too little time. Instead of getting depressed, I switched gears and wrote a long bucket list, in which my main goal is to get my write-ups printed and hope to publish. To create a website where I can post my recipes because cooking makes me feel so alive! Building my own legacy for my children when I'm gone.
The saying goes, when life gives you lemons make lemonade. But what do you do when life gives you cancer?
A Fighter
“It doesn’t matter how much time you have left, it’s about what you do with your time that matters.”
If cancer taught me anything, it was to give back and pass on a positive chain effect of hope to others. Memories of my cancer treatment sprung into mind like it was just yesterday, I vividly remembered the pain, the fear, the hopelessness as well as the hefty cost of treatment, all of which I could not bring myself to go through again. I decided to make plans for the worst case scenario. I made a bucket list, and started living my dreams, ticking each item off my list, one by one. I did not think about the days I had left, for I was already living a fulfilled life, by my own standards. I embarked on more volunteer work, keeping the words of my husband close to heart – “Do things for others to the best you can with whatever time you have left.
I did not want to give up, but to fight on required so much effort, and so much determination, and I didn’t know how much fight I had left in me. I felt emotionally drained, but yet I knew there was no time for rest. I braved myself to endure the treatment process. There is always a part of me that fears the cancer will find a way back again. But I know I am not alone in this journey as my family has always stick by me.
“Cancer shouldn’t define me. It’s an illness that needs to be cured, but it isn’t what you are. You’re still you and hopefully through the experience you’ll emerge as a better person. Try to cope by taking a break and re-charging yourself by doing things you like to do and are comfortable doing. I’ve always wanted to holiday but this experience has taught me not to put myself first, but rather, use myself for the good of others.
Also, support from family and friends is very important. Don’t think I could have gotten through without my family and friends sticking by my side throughout the entire period. Not many people have my fortune to “survive” cancer, so I represent hope and I hope that others can feel encouraged by my story.”
My husband, Rus also added that the most difficult part of the caregiving process was seeing me in pain and trying to comfort me.
However, far too often, many of us struggle to reconcile with our gift and as a result, find it difficult to find meaning and purpose in life’s existence.
In the flesh, you would never think of me to be suffering from any illness, much less cancer. Fresh-faced and constantly breaking into a smile.
“It’s okay to be scared, but try to seek support and solace in support groups to tide you through the journey. Everybody comes laden with their own burden, however, you need to accept the disease and move on, knowing that there is a plan for all of us. Sometimes, things don’t happen the way we want, but everything happens for a reason, and maybe it is a chance to reconnect with yourself. As long as you surmount the strength to fight it, half the battle is already won. Most importantly, know that time is still on your side, so treasure every minute of it while you can.”
I am Blessed...
Trust God! He truly is the healer!
Get involved with other people. Give because it gets you out of yourself and
keeps you focused on others.
I have also learned the value of
rest. If your body is tired, rest. But do not give up! Remember that “baby
steps are still steps!” Set goals. Live life. Get rid of negative influences.
Be that living testimony! I like to let people know that I kicked cancer’s
butt! Not now, but soon!
At home, my husband, Rusmanni keep me
laughing too. Rus decided to make the hard choice between his work and caring
for the love of his life. He devoted all his waking hours to care for me,
accompanying me to the hospital, assisting me with daily tasks. When I was
diagnosed, we had been married for 13 years and we probably laughed more after
my diagnosis than in all our years together. I believed that every positive
attitude makes me feel better and put all the people around me at peace.
But It wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. And while my oncologist team
brings peace to those closest to me, the people I see at the medical centre
bring that same feeling to her. I feel like I have the best team working on me.
They do it with a lot of empathy and a lot of care. They said “You’ve been
through the most difficult time part of treatment and sailed through with
flying colours. You have high hopes with a true fighting spirit, and I admire
that. I am rooting for you!”
However, Rus provided me with a ray
of sunlight in my period of darkness. Never once did Rus break down or show his
vulnerability in front of me since I was diagnosed but rather, made it a point
to remain upbeat and positive every single day so as to lift spirits. I
gleefully recounted how during my stays in the hospital, Rus would greet me
with a cheerful smile his face, rain or shine. I am married, so my sexuality is
confined to my husband. That is still very unfolding. It is interesting with
your partner, because they go through this all with you. They are not the
primary person it is happening to. I get all the sympathy. Most of the table
between us. We talk about it a lot. But it is also hard to progress constantly
on every front and be responsible for his evolution as well as my own. At some
point, he is responsible for his evolution. He hands in there the best he can.
It is just something that is unfolding for me. There are no answers yet. It is
different. Such unwavering dedication is testament to Rus love for me. During
my stays in the hospital, Rus is there beside me, my ray of joy within the hospital
walls.
I have my children. I was busy trying
to protect them initially, which was a mistake. There are just 5 of us, so we
have a very close family. They knew this was all going on. My trying to keep
the emotional intensity from them were a mistake, because they we going through
their own emotional intensity about it and their own fear of losing me. Because
everyone was so worried about getting me through it, I think they put their own
feelings on hold for a while. About a year-and-a-half into it, I had my
collapse. All my children and my husband had steadfastness and certainty that I
was going to survive, make it. In moments of great doubt on my part, their
steadfastness has been tremendous. It has helped me. Sometimes you hang onto
whatever you have there to hand on, to believe that you are going to make it
through this thing, and it is going to consume you. It is not going be a sad
story or the end of your story. You are going to make it through. I think my
husband learned a lot about that through this experience, so that is a gift to
him.
Apart from the support of her family
and loved ones, I also found support in places I never expected to find. I
found comfort and hope after reading about other’s cancer journey and how they
overcame the disease. I also found support in fellow patients hospitalised in
the same ward and I shared of how I would lighten up at the atmosphere by
befriending those around me to rally a positive state of mind. The nurses and
my oncologist nicknamed me the “leader of the ward” as I cheered those around
me. What I found most comforting are friends who have battled cancer themselves
sharing their own journey with cancer with me.
I believe you can get the best of
health care in the world here, but you must pay for it. I had a good health
plan, but now we pay a lot of money for this health plan. I paid a phenomenal
amount of money every month for my monthly medicines and therapies. I also
think it is sinful how much it costs. If I did not have the background and the
resources that I have, I might not have had this kind of care, and I might not
be here. I am an advocate for the whole country sitting down at a table and
trying to figure out this whole health care issue: how to access if for most
people, and how to make it so it is not unreasonable how much it costs.
Live strong means it takes a lot of
strength to live. It is a way of feeling like a victim. It is empowering
because it means that your body is your friend. Your body is able and capable,
and emotionally, you are capable. You can live strong. You can be strong in
your life.
I personally live strong by taking
care of my body, making it as strong as it can be, considering its age, and
what I have done to it and what has been done to it. Emotionally, I try to
maintain a very clear light forward. Life is not an easy thing. You must have a
lot of strength to live, to survive. I also acknowledge that the sickness made
me irrational and cranky, and she found herself losing my temper and having
emotional breakdowns more than I should.
I thank God every day, and I tell
everyone I love them so they will always know how I feel. I do not think about
when or if the cancer will come back. I think about tomorrow and spending it
with my children, my husband, family and friends.
Having cancer makes one very brave. I
do not give up hope and to continue to have hope, just as my doctor, husband,
family and friends encouraged me.
My name is Rosalisa Aris, and I am
stage 3B Endometrial (Uterine) cancer soon-to-be survivor.
To others battling cancer, I have
this to say:
“Go through each day positively. It
may not be an easy or fun process but not everybody is lucky enough to get a
second shot at life. Every day is a blessing and you never know you’’ learn the
value of life. Stay strong, especially if you have kids. And if you have loved
ones, just know that they are praying for your recovery so you must do your
part by staying strong and thinking positive. Support is very important especially
for younger cancer patients. Just know that time will pass quickly and with
each day you will emerge stronger. Every person diagnosed with cancer will
change, one way or another, and for myself, it has changed me for the better,
and I have become more appreciative, selfless and patient.
Just lead your life per normal. Don’t
worry because there is always help out there. You need to be strong and learn
to tolerate any mood swings or tempers that come your way. Just remember that
you cannot let it get to you as you need to be the rational pillar of support
to lift up your loved one. Also, it is important to properly plan your schedule
so that you’re overwhelmed by stress during this period.”
Terima Kasih Cinta
Ku pejamkan mata
Bayangkan dirimu
Menciptakan perasaan paling indah
Kau menyinari
Seluruh hidupku
Menemani di setiap malam-malamku
Terima kasih cinta
Hadirmu beri makna
Tak mungkin ku Persia
Ikatan terbina
Kekasih
Biarpun tersiksa
Walaupun terluka
Cintaku padamu
Kekal selamanya
Ternyta bukan mimpi
Kasihmu abadi
Oh...
Terima kasih cinta
Hadirmu beri makna
Tak mungkin ku Persia
Ikatan terbina
Terima kasih cinta
Hadirmu penuh makna
Tak mungkin ku Persia
Ikatan bersama
Nikmati segala bahagia...
Redha...
Redha itu bila Allah tarik orang yg kau paling saying, kau masih tersenyum dn senang.
Bukan kerana kau kejam, tapi kerana kau tahu dia ditempat yg labih baik.
Dn dosa-dosanya terhenti setakat matinya.
Allah itu adil dn bijaksana.
Dia mahu kau belajar dn faham, hidup ini bukan selamanya.
Dn kau hamba dn hanya Dia Tuhan utk segalanya.
A Letter to my Cancer…
“Prof Fong gave me a sense of confidence that made such a difference” – Lisa Aris, Endometrial cancer patient stage 3B
***********************************************************************************
A Letter to my Cancer…
It may seem like you have control in my life right now, but you really don’t.
Your presence only makes me stronger, braver, kinder, wiser.
I choose how I think, what I speak and how I love.
You will never be able to touch those things. Never!
The fear of your name no longer haunts my soul because I know that my soul belongs to me and Allah SWT.
You may take your claim on this frail outer shell but never on my divine spirit that cries out “I am not my body”.
My soul will run, leap and tower over your attempts to pull me down into despair.
Those who surround me will fight with me to let it be known that we will not surrender.
Our hearts and souls are tight together in a lasting bond that no amount of your impeding growth can break.
You see cancer, you do not own me.
I own myself. And I will survive!
***********************************************************************************
A cancer diagnosis is the beginning of a personal journey for everyone. Everyone has a unique set of beliefs, values and ways of coping. You will find the way that work best for you.
This is a time when they want to meet others and form close relationships. A cancer diagnosis can interfere with these important parts of life.
Although I had not experienced dramatic symptoms prior to being diagnosed with stage 3-B endometrial cancer, I started to experience some spotting in 2011. I did not think much of it until it became more frequent spotting and pain got more unbearable than ever.
Despite my “normal” Pap smear results in January 2014, I made a few trips to the emergency department due to abnormal bleeding, spotting and excruciatingly pain. I have been having bleeding in between my periods, so it was a little worrisome. I began my own research based on my own medical experiences and read almost all the articles and books that I can get my hands on. I had a feeling that something was not right. I went back to see my doctor in August 2016, who sent me for a vaginal ultrasound and ordered further testing.
In Sep 2016, I discovered the awful truth. I came close to dying of endometrial cancer and it is almost a miracle to be alive today. Everyday life was hectic and stressful for me. As a working mother, I was out of energy all the time. Sometimes, I wanted to close my eyes most of the time with extreme tiredness.
I could feel the outline of something in my abdomen. I was not hurting so much in the beginning stage, so I just kept going. I was always tired.
I was in a mess. But when they got the results back, it was like a sucker punch. All I could think and say was, “How could this happen to me?” When the doctor told me what type of cancer. A biopsy of the lining of my uterus came back positive for endometrial cancer. I did not waste a minute, we immediately decided for a hysterectomy surgery the following week. I went through the appointment and listen to the results without being afraid. “Cancer is such a frightening word but do not be afraid, have faith. I cannot cure you but your God will, together with your fighting spirits”, Prof Fong managed to strike a tone that was both serious and optimistic. He spent so much time with us and answered our long list of questions patiently and thoroughly. Prof Fong gave me a sense of confidence that made such a difference. The cancer that I am having is rare and aggressive.
Prof Fong discussed with the hospital tumour board, we sat and talked about the plan of action. Recommended that I have a complete hysterectomy, which he performed the very following week after my diagnosis. I stayed in the hospital for 3 days. I cannot say enough about how thankful we were. The surgery went well, so we thought everything is going to be alright and what is important “Hey, I am FREE from pain!” Basically, everything was cleaned out. There is an upbeat spirit throughout – which is vitally important for a cancer patient.
When asked about my chances of beating cancer, I would say that odds were against me. I was told that I had 10 months to live. But that was unacceptable! This disease typically goes undiagnosed until it is at an advanced stage and has already spread.
My surgeon performed an extensive debunking surgery – full hysterectomy as well as removal of the omentum and a portion of the bowel, and stripping of the diaphragm. The debunking procedure has proven to increase the survival rates for endometrial cancer patients. We found evidence of tumours in nearby lymph nodes and in the tissue, that lines the bladder and the abdominal wall. He worked on in the same surgical area, my oncologist examined biopsied tissue through a high-resolution microscope. His immediate analysis confirmed the tissue was malignant (cancerous). This surgery has two primary goals: to stage the cancer and to remove as much disease as possible.
It was a rapid-growing cell. Which ordinarily would metastasize, but for whatever reason, my body had contained it. It was such a large tumour, so they decided I better have chemotherapy too. I had chemotherapy for the next half-year or so and then a little teeny bit of radiation at the end.
The downside has been my body hormonally went through this phenomenal transition. Of course, they took my ovaries out, and they took all the lymph nodes out of my stomach. Prof Fong is a very aggressive oncologist, he is worried about it having spread, and he wanted to look at everything. That was a radical physical change for my body to adjust to, so that was part of it.
After I recovered from surgery, my oncologist told me that, although the cancer had spread, his team removed the entire ovarian mass and all visible evidence of tumour. Chemotherapy was the next step in comprehensive care for the disease.
How did I no longer be angry anymore? You are always wondering why, so you are always looking for reasons why. Why you gave yourself this disease, or why the environmental factors plus the substance of what your body is. You cannot help but think there are some other factors that might be contributing. So, what can I do to change those factors? The ones that I have jurisdiction over. I will not use the word control. I started to think I was not being tuned in enough, sympathetic enough with my body. Maybe I was being demanding with it. So, I have more of a conversation with it now. For me, the physical exercise is more of a conversation with my body. I go out, and it feels good to move. When you risk losing your physical form, it makes you appreciate the physical form later.
I did well while undergoing treatment. I rested, ate healthy and took care of myself. Well, yeah only occasionally I will “cheat” but not all the time. I decided not to work full time during chemotherapy, but returned to my job during the maintenance phase of my treatment.
I recuperated nicely, and I returned to work 3 months after. After discussing my follow up treatment options with Prof Fong, which ranged from watchful waiting (or active surveillance) to chemotherapy and vaginal radiation, he opted for a serious of 8 radiation treatments, that turned out to be painless. Taking into consideration of my health, he felt that it would be best to monitor me closely every month.
Every week, I visited the chemotherapy unit, and got to know the nurses and other patients also undergoing treatment. I feel like they are part of a family. Everyone is funny and welcoming. They miss you and want to know what is new.
Recovery is interesting. I am finding out what’s Lisa’s new normal is. But the surgery threw me right into full menopause. I do not have the same energy level I had before, and I hate that. I feel like I must work extra hard but my thoughts must be on being on healthy.
Of course, the chemotherapy was difficult, because all the usual stuff. I lost my hair and I got progressively sicker. I was determined to get all the way through it. My body tolerated the chemotherapy relatively well. I could finish it out. The upside of all that is after the treatment and coming out of it, I have such a thankfulness that my body is capable of tolerating this storm of interference that happens with it. It became much more precious.
My children, my husband and my family, who were my biggest support, have fallen back into just being kids, as if that moment never happened. I am trying to do that myself, but I get emotional now. I think the realization that I was diagnosed with this hits me differently every day. I have refused to talk about this cancer as something I have. I say, “I was diagnosed with” but I do not say I “have” it, ever!
Now is a day-to-day moving forward. I tell myself that baby steps are still steps, and I am applying that thought process to my life as well. I do not have the energy I had, and I am working throughout daily. With goals, I have, I need the energy.
Trust God! He truly is the healer! Get involved with other people. Give because it gets you out of yourself and keeps you focused on others.
I have also learned the value of rest. If your body is tired, rest. But do not give up! Remember that “baby steps are still steps!” Set goals. Live life. Get rid of negative influences. Be that living testimony! I like to let people know that I kicked cancer’s butt! Not now, but soon!
At home, my husband, Rusmanni keep me laughing too. When I was diagnosed, we had been married for 13 years and we probably laughed more after my diagnosis than in all our years together. I believed that every positive attitude makes me feel better and put all the people around me at peace.
And while my oncologist team brings peace to those closest to me, the people I see at the medical centre bring that same feeling to her. I feel like I have the best team working on me. They do it with a lot of empathy and a lot of care. They said “You’ve been through the most difficult time part of treatment and sailed through with flying colours. You have high hopes with a true fighting spirit, and I admire that. I am rooting for you!”
I am married, so my sexuality is confined to my husband. That is still very unfolding. It is interesting with your partner, because they go through this all with you. They are not the primary person it is happening to. I get all the sympathy. Most of the table between us. We talk about it a lot. But it is also hard to progress constantly on every front and be responsible for his evolution as well as my own. At some point, he is responsible for his evolution. He hands in there the best he can. It is just something that is unfolding for me. There are no answers yet. It is different.
I have my children. I was busy trying to protect them initially, which was a mistake. There are just 5 of us, so we have a very close family. They knew this was all going on. My trying to keep the emotional intensity from them were a mistake, because they we going through their own emotional intensity about it and their own fear of losing me. Because everyone was so worried about getting me through it, I think they put their own feelings on hold for a while. About a year-and-a-half into it, I had my collapse. All my children and my husband had steadfastness and certainty that I was going to survive, make it. In moments of great doubt on my part, their steadfastness has been tremendous. It has helped me. Sometimes you hang onto whatever you have there to hand on, to believe that you are going to make it through this thing, and it is going to consume you. It is not going be a sad story or the end of your story. You are going to make it through. I think my husband learned a lot about that through this experience, so that is a gift to him.
I believe you can get the best of health care in the world here, but you must pay for it. I had a good health plan, but now we pay a lot of money for this health plan. I paid a phenomenal amount of money every month for my monthly medicines and therapies. I also think it is sinful how much it costs. If I did not have the background and the resources that I have, I might not have had this kind of care, and I might not be here. I am an advocate for the whole country sitting down at a table and trying to figure out this whole health care issue: how to access if for most people, and how to make it so it is not unreasonable how much it costs.
Live strong means it takes a lot of strength to live. It is a way of feeling like a victim. It is empowering because it means that your body is your friend. Your body is able and capable, and emotionally, you are capable. You can live strong. You can be strong in your life.
I personally live strong by taking care of my body, making it as strong as it can be, considering its age, and what I have done to it and what has been done to it. Emotionally, I try to maintain a very clear light forward. Life is not an easy thing. You must have a lot of strength to live, to survive.
I thank God every day, and I tell everyone I love them so they will always know how I feel. I do not think about when or if the cancer will come back. I think about tomorrow and spending it with my children, my husband, family and friends.
Having cancer makes one very brave. I do not give up hope and to continue to have hope, just as my doctor, husband, family and friends encouraged me.
My name is Rosalisa Aris, and I am stage 3B Endometrial (Uterine) cancer soon-to-be survivor.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
