I took a long hiatus from blogging and I'm back at it again!
So much things happened over the years but hey, it's 2021 a brand new beginning. My only hope that this year will be a miracle year for me. Year to heal!
There have been some hard days, but there's been so many blessings through it too! So I'm trying my best to remember that. God is great!!
I took a long hiatus for an indeterminate time but I never thought that I would take this long. I have screamed so loud, some have heard me. But I'm tired of screaming. I'm tired to keep telling myself, "Things will be okay" or "I'm gonna be well again" etc...etc....etc. I have tried everything my oncologist planned up for me, I did them all...everything! I put in so much high hopes to get better but I was so wrong.
Over the years I went through countless chemotherapies, radiation therapies and even immunotherapies, after which my cancer went into remission. But then, the cancer returned in Aug' 2020, and radiotherapy was not an option.
The night I was told my cancer had returned, we shared the news with my husband's siblings. The ones who keep us going and supporting us. We were broken. Me and Puw couldn't sleep that night, we stayed up and talked all night. Since I was first diagnosed, he was very optimistic and I have never seen him sad, but that night we cried in silent.
By Nov'2020, it's already all over my body and Dec'2020, I chose not to receive anymore treatment. I'm never doing this again. So, I decided enough was enough. I have been through too much to deal with any more. Now I hope God provide a miracle or live out my life doing the things I love.
I realized that I didn't have much time and I need to fulfill my dreams. Too many dreams to fulfill with too little time. Instead of getting depressed, I switched gears and wrote a long bucket list, in which my main goal is to get my write-ups printed and hope to publish. To create a website where I can post my recipes because cooking makes me feel so alive! Building my own legacy for my children when I'm gone.
The saying goes, when life gives you lemons make lemonade. But what do you do when life gives you cancer?
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