A Fighter

“It doesn’t matter how much time you have left, it’s about what you do with your time that matters.”

If cancer taught me anything, it was to give back and pass on a positive chain effect of hope to others. Memories of my cancer treatment sprung into mind like it was just yesterday, I vividly remembered the pain, the fear, the hopelessness as well as the hefty cost of treatment, all of which I could not bring myself to go through again. I decided to make plans for the worst case scenario. I made a bucket list, and started living my dreams, ticking each item off my list, one by one. I did not think about the days I had left, for I was already living a fulfilled life, by my own standards. I embarked on more volunteer work, keeping the words of my husband close to heart – “Do things for others to the best you can with whatever time you have left.

I did not want to give up, but to fight on required so much effort, and so much determination, and I didn’t know how much fight I had left in me. I felt emotionally drained, but yet I knew there was no time for rest. I braved myself to endure the treatment process. There is always a part of me that fears the cancer will find a way back again. But I know I am not alone in this journey as my family has always stick by me.

“Cancer shouldn’t define me. It’s an illness that needs to be cured, but it isn’t what you are. You’re still you and hopefully through the experience you’ll emerge as a better person. Try to cope by taking a break and re-charging yourself by doing things you like to do and are comfortable doing. I’ve always wanted to holiday but this experience has taught me not to put myself first, but rather, use myself for the good of others.

Also, support from family and friends is very important. Don’t think I could have gotten through without my family and friends sticking by my side throughout the entire period. Not many people have my fortune to “survive” cancer, so I represent hope and I hope that others can feel encouraged by my story.”

My husband, Rus also added that the most difficult part of the caregiving process was seeing me in pain and trying to comfort me.

However, far too often, many of us struggle to reconcile with our gift and as a result, find it difficult to find meaning and purpose in life’s existence.

In the flesh, you would never think of me to be suffering from any illness, much less cancer. Fresh-faced and constantly breaking into a smile.

“It’s okay to be scared, but try to seek support and solace in support groups to tide you through the journey. Everybody comes laden with their own burden, however, you need to accept the disease and move on, knowing that there is a plan for all of us. Sometimes, things don’t happen the way we want, but everything happens for a reason, and maybe it is a chance to reconnect with yourself. As long as you surmount the strength to fight it, half the battle is already won. Most importantly, know that time is still on your side, so treasure every minute of it while you can.”