Trust God! He truly is the healer!
Get involved with other people. Give because it gets you out of yourself and
keeps you focused on others.
I have also learned the value of
rest. If your body is tired, rest. But do not give up! Remember that “baby
steps are still steps!” Set goals. Live life. Get rid of negative influences.
Be that living testimony! I like to let people know that I kicked cancer’s
butt! Not now, but soon!
At home, my husband, Rusmanni keep me
laughing too. Rus decided to make the hard choice between his work and caring
for the love of his life. He devoted all his waking hours to care for me,
accompanying me to the hospital, assisting me with daily tasks. When I was
diagnosed, we had been married for 13 years and we probably laughed more after
my diagnosis than in all our years together. I believed that every positive
attitude makes me feel better and put all the people around me at peace.
But It wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. And while my oncologist team
brings peace to those closest to me, the people I see at the medical centre
bring that same feeling to her. I feel like I have the best team working on me.
They do it with a lot of empathy and a lot of care. They said “You’ve been
through the most difficult time part of treatment and sailed through with
flying colours. You have high hopes with a true fighting spirit, and I admire
that. I am rooting for you!”
However, Rus provided me with a ray
of sunlight in my period of darkness. Never once did Rus break down or show his
vulnerability in front of me since I was diagnosed but rather, made it a point
to remain upbeat and positive every single day so as to lift spirits. I
gleefully recounted how during my stays in the hospital, Rus would greet me
with a cheerful smile his face, rain or shine. I am married, so my sexuality is
confined to my husband. That is still very unfolding. It is interesting with
your partner, because they go through this all with you. They are not the
primary person it is happening to. I get all the sympathy. Most of the table
between us. We talk about it a lot. But it is also hard to progress constantly
on every front and be responsible for his evolution as well as my own. At some
point, he is responsible for his evolution. He hands in there the best he can.
It is just something that is unfolding for me. There are no answers yet. It is
different. Such unwavering dedication is testament to Rus love for me. During
my stays in the hospital, Rus is there beside me, my ray of joy within the hospital
walls.
I have my children. I was busy trying
to protect them initially, which was a mistake. There are just 5 of us, so we
have a very close family. They knew this was all going on. My trying to keep
the emotional intensity from them were a mistake, because they we going through
their own emotional intensity about it and their own fear of losing me. Because
everyone was so worried about getting me through it, I think they put their own
feelings on hold for a while. About a year-and-a-half into it, I had my
collapse. All my children and my husband had steadfastness and certainty that I
was going to survive, make it. In moments of great doubt on my part, their
steadfastness has been tremendous. It has helped me. Sometimes you hang onto
whatever you have there to hand on, to believe that you are going to make it
through this thing, and it is going to consume you. It is not going be a sad
story or the end of your story. You are going to make it through. I think my
husband learned a lot about that through this experience, so that is a gift to
him.
Apart from the support of her family
and loved ones, I also found support in places I never expected to find. I
found comfort and hope after reading about other’s cancer journey and how they
overcame the disease. I also found support in fellow patients hospitalised in
the same ward and I shared of how I would lighten up at the atmosphere by
befriending those around me to rally a positive state of mind. The nurses and
my oncologist nicknamed me the “leader of the ward” as I cheered those around
me. What I found most comforting are friends who have battled cancer themselves
sharing their own journey with cancer with me.
I believe you can get the best of
health care in the world here, but you must pay for it. I had a good health
plan, but now we pay a lot of money for this health plan. I paid a phenomenal
amount of money every month for my monthly medicines and therapies. I also
think it is sinful how much it costs. If I did not have the background and the
resources that I have, I might not have had this kind of care, and I might not
be here. I am an advocate for the whole country sitting down at a table and
trying to figure out this whole health care issue: how to access if for most
people, and how to make it so it is not unreasonable how much it costs.
Live strong means it takes a lot of
strength to live. It is a way of feeling like a victim. It is empowering
because it means that your body is your friend. Your body is able and capable,
and emotionally, you are capable. You can live strong. You can be strong in
your life.
I personally live strong by taking
care of my body, making it as strong as it can be, considering its age, and
what I have done to it and what has been done to it. Emotionally, I try to
maintain a very clear light forward. Life is not an easy thing. You must have a
lot of strength to live, to survive. I also acknowledge that the sickness made
me irrational and cranky, and she found herself losing my temper and having
emotional breakdowns more than I should.
I thank God every day, and I tell
everyone I love them so they will always know how I feel. I do not think about
when or if the cancer will come back. I think about tomorrow and spending it
with my children, my husband, family and friends.
Having cancer makes one very brave. I
do not give up hope and to continue to have hope, just as my doctor, husband,
family and friends encouraged me.
My name is Rosalisa Aris, and I am
stage 3B Endometrial (Uterine) cancer soon-to-be survivor.
To others battling cancer, I have
this to say:
“Go through each day positively. It
may not be an easy or fun process but not everybody is lucky enough to get a
second shot at life. Every day is a blessing and you never know you’’ learn the
value of life. Stay strong, especially if you have kids. And if you have loved
ones, just know that they are praying for your recovery so you must do your
part by staying strong and thinking positive. Support is very important especially
for younger cancer patients. Just know that time will pass quickly and with
each day you will emerge stronger. Every person diagnosed with cancer will
change, one way or another, and for myself, it has changed me for the better,
and I have become more appreciative, selfless and patient.
Just lead your life per normal. Don’t
worry because there is always help out there. You need to be strong and learn
to tolerate any mood swings or tempers that come your way. Just remember that
you cannot let it get to you as you need to be the rational pillar of support
to lift up your loved one. Also, it is important to properly plan your schedule
so that you’re overwhelmed by stress during this period.”
